im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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