he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
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i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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