fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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