Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
