If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
