Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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