So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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