I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
