I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
