no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
