i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
