You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
