we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
