i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
