Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
