I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I need to align my fucking chakras
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