We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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