she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
