My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
