Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
