New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
