i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize