She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
