Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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