She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
