Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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