Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
