idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
