Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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