I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
