SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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