The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Randomize
