Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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