we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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