I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
