Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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