her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
