I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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