The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
