She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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