u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
