Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
