i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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