wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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