Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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