You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
one might say we're banned from that church
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
