Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The Olympian is in my bed
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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