next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
