She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
