the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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