You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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