I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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