Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
