sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
