I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
