How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
