I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
