great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
