i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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