I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
