So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
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last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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