I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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