How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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