Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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